The great benefit I found, was that my neighbor across the street, the one who had just completely redone her home complete with new roof and new kitchen with granite counter tops,  called me later to say she and her husband were in the same boat (pre-foreclosure, trying to do a short sale) and she had been terrified to tell anyone. My honesty freed her to be truthful, and an enormous weight lifted off her shoulders and was really visible on her face when I saw her. It is really critical to know you are not alone on this journey, and  it began a wonderful friendship, borne out of hardship, that will weather not only this crisis but perhaps  a lifetime.

Every Sunday night they would call and tell me to come over for potluck, and we would have a glass of wine and a great casserole or stew, and laugh at the humiliation each of us had to deal with that week. It was graveyard humor, to be sure, but an outlet that we all needed so badly.It wouldn’t have been funny to anyone but us, and came from that “better to laugh than cry” place.  We would get hysterical with our tales of “going down the crapper together” as my friend would call it. But we smiled and were happy for an hour or so, and it gave us a way to start the week with a renewed spirit.

Turns out, we all had a strong faith in God, and that helped us find meaning and value even in the painful things that were happening. We knew that it would all be used to our benefit in the future, even though that was hard to imagine at the moment. The best part was we both always had a safe place to fall apart if we needed one, and I have always found that if I had one, I wouldn’t need it as much. There may not be a 12-Step support group for this yet, but one supportive person is all you need and a true blessing if you find them. Hopefully, if you don’t have one, you will have found one here.