I saved this as a draft over fourteen years ago. I had someone ask me this question the other day. I have been back on the East Coast since 2018. It is now 2025. I share the rest of this original draft mostly as a reminder to myself that unless we change something, some things don’t change. I still do not have the discipline of a writer, but perhaps I am realizing my heart leans that way and I am enjoying it more, now that there seems to be so much less sand in the hourglass.

from notes, 2013:

The past year and a half since my move from East coast to West have been full of new adventures with God. I see Him everywhere in my life and the things I see are often like parables and seem to matter to people when I share them, particularly those who know Him well.

Yet I go from one day to the next, many of them with time to sit down with a computer or a pen but I have not done that. I did do it when I was struggling to make sense of my life, to see the next step ahead of me, wondering how to provide for myself, or at least I did when I thought I was struggling….and therein lies the difference. I am not struggling now, even though I continue to seek His guidance every day, many times a day, for the same reasons I did before. The difference now is that I am confident He has the answer for me and that He will present it at the appointed time: His time, not necessarily mine. And I know that it is good, in fact, perfect that way.

I must begin to write these things down, because they are becoming too many for me to hold in my head and recount to those who seem to want to know. When  I am questioned by someone about the meaning of something in daily life, these stories all spill out of me. I am often asked why I don’t write them down and I have no answer. I do not want to get to see my Maker and have no answer. I must look at my time differently and expect more of myself. I believe that He may be expecting more of me, and I don’t want to let Him down. The people He has put in my path are daily miracles, full of wisdom and insight and the power of His love and our prayers in this life. It is a rich and wonderful story that needs to be told, even by someone who thinks she is but a grain of sand. It is not for me to ask why, but just to do my part. This is my portion.