I learn so much from my weekly Bible study. Just showing up is the single most important task. Get myself in the room and in the chair and I will definitely learn something new about myself. That is the way God works. He uses those in community with us to be our teachers.

The funny thing is, they don’t know they are teachers, or they wouldn’t show up. You’re talking way too much responsibility. They wouldn’t think they are good at it. We only go because there is someone on the video who carries that title. However, the learning really happens at the table.

The word commitment came up during our discussion this week. Those of us, who had been married and were no longer, seemed to recoil at the word. I thought it was interesting and I noticed that the woman, who had expressed that reaction as not being one of her strengths, was one of the most committed women in the room. Barring a family or work emergency she was always present when we met. She had a leadership role and never failed to be prepared. She was introspective, encouraging and insightful about everyone else who shared. She was raising her son to be a godly and compassionate young man. She maintained a job and a home by herself. Where did this uncertainty come from?

We all decided that commitment had a somewhat negative connotation and we really weren’t sure why.

The wonderful thing about a group like this is that we go home with the information and let it marinate in our thoughts. It is because we care and are committed to the others in the group that we can turn the thought around and around in our mind and see what else comes up. Partly because it isn’t personal we are committed to seeing what else might be involved; we want to excavate the deeper reason behind the thought itself. We want to see if it still has value in our perception of ourselves or each other today; if, in fact it is even true for us today. We do this mainly because we care about that other person so we can study it somewhat objectively.

I have realized that for me it is now a good word, one that I am worthy to put on my list of self-descriptions. While there may be a failed marriage (or two) in my past, it takes two people being committed to make marriage a strong and healthy environment. One cannot do it alone. Relationships cannot survive on the commitment of one person. If I were the only person who showed up for our meeting each week I would only leave with exactly what I brought. Instead it is multiplied many times over by the number of people who honor their commitment. Those who don’t show  miss a lot, even if it necessary. We can never share with them what they missed. You had to be there to get it.

So show up! Be fully present. You will be amazed what God can do with even that much commitment. Not such a scary word anymore, is it?

I was walking Gypsy the other day and noticed how, even though he loves his morning and afternoon walk and sniff’s more than just about anything except food, there is a significant excitement when we happen to run into another dog walking a human.

Is it that after days of living with someone who is clearly nice to him and takes good care of his needs, that he has just gotten a glimpse of something that offers the potential for more than that? Some other being who validates his shape, size, furriness, and communication skills? Is this perhaps why, no matter the outcome, every few years I try out a new singles site in the vague hope that someone of the male persuasion just might happen to be searching for someone exactly like me this week?

There is something about like kind, definitely. We do like to know that we are not the only ones inhabiting a similar body, and it helps to cross paths with others who look the same, are perhaps even from the same gene pool. I find that for me, connecting with others of like mind is also of amazing importance to pique both my ability and desire to want to fully participate in life and to be excited about my future.

There are blogs of people like me that I now read on an almost daily basis. They are out there in the world, and thanks to the internet, I can connect to them and feel instantly at home. My odd duck feeling dissipates immediately when I read something that sounds familiar to the voice in my head who has not yet given it words.

I also love to read blogs of similarly minded thinkers who are throwing a curve ball into my path. They make me turn my brain around like a kaleidoscope until I find a new picture that challenges or comforts me. At the very least they urge me, without criticizing, to change the channel for a moment and see if I might enjoy something different than I had previously thought.

That’s why I love these blogs. A chance to put our thoughts out there; sometimes others tune in and add to the music, sometimes it’s a solo, but it sounds good to me either way.

I had the opportunity to watch a couple of movies this week as the holidays approached, and I realized how often movies portray the nature of our families as we grew up. It is indeed a bottomless pit of possibilities for fun and dysfunction!

I noticed how uncomfortable I often was in watching ones that reminded me more how I felt in my family of origin, and how much more comfortable I was watching the ones that really showed the craziness, but also a deep acceptance and love. The one that brought me the most tears, laughter and joy at the end was Little Miss Sunshine. A mess of characters to be sure, all packed in a VW bus, but it was the total acceptance of their differences and uniqueness that finally cracked open their immense love for each other.

I am most grateful as we approach Thanksgiving, that I have in my two sons and daughter-in-law, the family I always wanted: the ones who would jump up on stage with me if I was making an utter fool of myself (if for no reason other than the fact the people I was trying to please were the real jackasses). There is no right or wrong way to do most things, only different ways. We lose a lot when we forget that and criticize one another for being different. The saddest part is they also miss out on feeling the love that we may actually feel for them.

I know my family knows who I am, and while we may not always agree with each other, we respect each others differences and actually seek them out, rather than a family group-think mentality. We all learn life lessons from each other, and I hope that will never end. It is that for which I am most thankful. Enjoy your family, and lighten up on those criticisms….instead, how about telling them one thing that you love most about them because it is different from you!

I was reminded yet again, that the safest way to make more acquaintances, and stay on good terms with many people, is to never delve into any area conversationally with any depth. That way, no one’s feelings get hurt and no one puts themselves at any risk (by no one, I mean me).

I have come up with a list of the possible things that are OK to talk about. I am going to venture out of my comfort zone this week and try them out, particularly with people who seem to like to stay on those topics.

1) What I ate. 2) Where I ate. 3) With whom I ate. 4) Plants and flowers and 5) Rate the weather today from 1-10. There. That’s it. If I stay on those topics I will probably triple the number of people who will want to talk with me daily.

From there perhaps I can start to follow a team of some sort, and then with all those in my repertoire, I may become proficient at lasting more than a week on a singles dating site.

Is it that I am really deep, or that the world appears sometimes rather shallow? I have a friend in my Bible study working at having deeper thoughts. She is finding it quite a struggle. I, on the other hand, am grasping at straws for some really surface comments about life.

Cheerios, standing in my kitchen, my dog Gypsy, no garden at present, 9+….(OK, I really think the last four days have been 10’s, but does that make me a Pollyanna? Someone told me it rained one afternoon, but I didn’t even notice it!  I mean this weather is fabulous!) Oops, there I go again…off into the wild blue yonder of thought and enthusiasm….now stop that. It might lead to meaningful conversation. Perhaps food conversations could do that also…? Maybe I am missing something!

I was invited to dinner by my niece last night, and asked if we could stop and pick up a bottle of wine for our hosts en route. I have always felt incompetent in this area and don’t have any system to follow, so I asked her how she goes about finding a wine to give to someone. What she replied amazed me.

“I look for the one that is not the cheapest, but maybe just a little above that. Then I look at the label to see which one is attractive to me…it could be its design, colors, or something on it that reminds me of the person (a frog, a rooster?). Then I decide whether white or red based on whatever I know about their taste or what they are serving. Voila!”

Having been around some fabulous connoisseurs over my lifetime, I have to say I was thrilled. This was my system too!!! Coming from a twenty-something, it certainly validated me and let me feel I hadn’t missed a whole lot by being out of the wine loop for years.

In the end we picked one with a rooster and a color on the label that matched the hostess’ kitchen…bright red! Now I wonder how that will affect all the people making those wines so worried about the aroma and all those other things that we are supposed to be looking for? It was terrific, and so was our meal….a perfect match …for the kitchen, the cook and our pocketbook!

As far as using the computer goes, my son says the baby boomer generation is “obsessed with forwarding.” I have to admit I finally agreed with him, as I opened my  900th email sending me a ‘money angel’…if I merely forward her to eight people in twelve minutes I will receive an unexpected windfall within four hours! Who comes up with this stuff, anyway? And why would anyone in their right mind (and I have to believe dementia has yet to set in for most of my friends, although I am not sure how much longer some of us will be able to keep it at bay!) would believe that these absurd things have any value?

All I can imagine is that it reminds us of when we were little and we played a game walking to school (yes, we ‘walked’ to school in those days). It was “Step on a crack, break my mother’s back” and other sing song-y rhymes that went with it. OK, a part of me knew that my mother’s back was really in no danger, but….what if? What if it did break and it could somehow be traced to my stepping on a crack? Would I live under the guilt forever of having caused it by not avoiding that obvious line on the sidewalk?

Too much to bear. Easier to just avoid the crack. I think those things ceased to bother me after I accepted Jesus had died for my sins. I must say for the past 27 years I have had no fear that any single action like stepping on a crack would cause unforgivable consequences for my family members. Thankfully, I can walk the dog on a sidewalk without that running through my brain any more. But why are we still forwarding this nonsense?

I wrote my friend back this morning and asked her if anyone she knew had ever been the recipient of a windfall following their obedience to the God of Forwarding Absurd Financial Nonsense? I also suggested we each put $10 in a savings account every time we receive one from now on. Let’s see, 900 times $10….I would definitely consider $9000 a windfall! Alas, I doubt that my missive will be forwarded…..I wonder if a picture of a cute little fairy would have helped?

I was speaking with a good friend and sister in Christ today, grateful that she was yet another wounded warrior who has graced my life over the past twenty seven years. I had the vision of her as suffering a kind of post traumatic stress, having been hurt by her church a long time ago in the aftermath of a divorce from a Christian husband.

Whether we like it or not, very often some of the harshest blows to a believer have been delivered by other well meaning believers. One of the greatest sorrows I have seen is the one of someone who loves God but is terrified of His church.

My picture of her, when I met her almost twenty years ago, was of a woman who was shell shocked. It was as if she had been wandering in a mine field and was not sure where to put her foot next. I had been given her name by a man in my church, and I went to see her with her permission. Both recognizing a fellow traveler we began a friendship, albeit tentatively, that has stood the test of time and many misfortunes, because at the center of it was our mutual love of God.

She and I share a heartache for those who often go unnoticed in a church, those who may come one Sunday, only to sneak back out the way they came in. We often don’t have eyes to see those who have been hurt by other churches, perhaps even by our own. I believe it takes a person who has walked a similar path to notice the body language of that person. As much as they want to be there, they are somewhat fearful of the well-meaning of others.

I believe there is a huge calling for the wounded healers to come back to the Church right now, to give it another chance. I also  believe that the church needs to value the people that God calls there, and try to discern by the guidance of the Holy Spirit, why they might be there. I believe they do not come in their own strength(because they have been worn down), but in His, and they have a great deal to offer the church right now. I believe my friend is one of those we should listen to, because God is saying something through her story that we need to hear.

I pray that her church will not only receive her, but welcome her with open arms.

How exciting to see whatever life throws at you as a constant opportunity for something new and different to arrive in your life. I just got off the phone with someone who exemplifies that, and it is such an upper to talk to someone with that attitude!

Let’s face it, life has got some curve balls that just catch you off guard. Some things you never imagined or had a backup plan for. But if you look for the silver lining, the blessing within the curse, as it were, there is a whole new world of excitement ahead. Or you can have a pity party.

I don’t know about you, but those are parties I don’t like to throw or to attend, even by phone!

I have a great friend who is very skilled at understanding the Bible and often talks about teaching A Course in Miracles. The problem, as I see it is, is that she doesn’t really believe what she would teach; her life does not resemble a course in miracles. She is, in fact, so afraid to take a risk, she never gives God a chance to step in and give her a miracle.

I have seen so many of them I have lost count! Perhaps it is because I have learned that living on the edge with God is the safest place in all the world. There are miracles happening in my life every day and I can see them. It is exciting to me to see how people behave when bad things happen, because that’s where the rubber meets the road where faith is concerned. You have to believe the safety net is there when you jump, and the more you have jumped and walked away, the more you trust it. You can spend your life trying to stay safe, or you can step out in faith and let God protect you.

Who’s that at the door?

It has a price. I don’t know anyone who has as much freedom as they would like to decide how to use their time, their day, even their money right now. It seems as if we are all trying to weigh one thing against another as there is little if anything left over at the end of the month!

It is causing me to think deeply about Christmas presents. What would really be appropriate and useful to the recipient, versus what hits me as a potential answer to the immediate ‘get something for somebody’ approach so I get it off my brain!

It seems to be one of the great benefits of this down economy. Everyone is realizing that time is as important as money, particularly when so many are picking up a second job just to try and equal the total they used to have with one income.

I don’t know about you, but I am really noticing when someone takes the time to help someone out, sacrificing their own time for another. No matter how much we have had our own reality affected by the economy, we don’t have to look far to find someone else who has been  hit worse.

May this be the year we all notice those ‘unnoticeables’, and do what we can to make it just a little easier for someone else. We all have the freedom to make a choice to help the persons we choose, to lift their spirits or, even if briefly, their experience to a higher level. The cost of compassion will be repaid to you ten times over. Believe it, and see if someone comes across your path this week with a problem for which you might just have the solution.

Seems like I just wrote about this, but I didn’t. Yesterday I got up early, got to work early, did all the pre-opening duties with a light heart, looking forward to a day of accomplishment. Our Regional Manager dropped in for a few hours, which was not unusual at all.

Somewhere around lunchtime she asked me to come into the managers office and close the door. Flag. Then she said she had good news and bad news. Red Flag. Which did I want first? The good news was like a joke (I no longer had to do ten craigslist postings a day), the bad news was that I was being laid off. Effective immediately, though they would pay me for today.

If they bought more properties they would bring me back. That was it. No good job, nice working with you, we will miss you, you really added something to the “team”….pack up and someone will take over where you left off.

I think my almost three months in corporate America has taught me more about why I love being self-employed than anything else I could ever have done. Numbers game. Everyone is a cog in the wheel. Easily replaced by another cog.

They will deal with whatever they need to in order to keep everyone a nameless, faceless creature in the scheme of things. That’s how it works best. all the while every morning putting out senseless and endless emails and newsletters saying how important each one is. Sending you to classes, online or otherwise, to show you how individual and important people are and how ethics is key, the company’s true worth is its people.

There is no real concern as to what happens to that person or their family when the paycheck suddenly stops. No tears shed. Next?

As I drove home I called my Broker to say I am back and I can’t wait to see what God has in store! Within two hours I had phone calls from two pending sales that gave us the green light to close, sales that had been pending for over eight months. That’s the only sign I needed to know this was all planned out for me way before this happened.

But how sad for all the people who have to live in a corporate world, not knowing when they will be replaced. I can’t wait to get back to a world where I matter to the people I work for and with. My faith that the provision for my well being is from a far more abundant source than the name on my temporary paycheck has always given me more peace than this past three months of a safe and secure paycheck ever did. And that’s the real Good News!